I Like Cheap Skates

Take a look at this video for insight on why I wrote this particular piece.

**Audio is not provided for this piece because of the way it’s written.**

Spending money is against my religion
It’s my decision to keep the coins hidden
Normal spendin is hard for me to envision
Cold sweats at the thought of money missin

I only spend when absolutely necessary
My frugal game is skrong beyond legendary
I even quit my duties acting as the tooth fairy
F…. dem kids they better get a job

Go submit a resume, it’s not that hard
I hate when I have to use my credit card
To buy food and gas…that’s…too…..far
So I bought a bus pass and Uber f…..a car

I don’t have lights, I kick it in the dark
Don’t want them bcuz I hate being charged
Spending money leaves me forever scarred
Run me them coupons though, yeah that part

I run to the discounts like marathons
Yard sales be da bomb, da hell with Amazon
It’s an adrenaline rush flowing like the Amazon
When I buy hand me downs it feels like I won

That cheap shirt looking like a whole snack
A big mac B-line to the clearance rack
In the goodwill I just forget how to act
I lose my mind in Dollar Tree yup straight facts

I don’t eat Fruit Loops, I eat those Fruit Rings
Purchased with a coupon, I like nice things
I can’t explain the joy that a cheap price brings
Like a warm day coupled with a slight breeze

I once went to the gun range with a friend
Shot up all his bullets that he used money to spend
When it was time to pay for both lanes at the end
I said “SEPARATE” who tf he thought I wuz

I’m so cheap that I’m inconsiderate just bcuz
F…k his bullets my reputation won’t budge
I’m just ungrateful, it runs in my blood
But don’t judge or I’ll hold a grudge

As you can see I hate spending money
Makes me feel funny I scratch my neck like a junkie
My wallet closed off wrapped tight like a mummy
I don’t pay full price what I look like a dummy

I look like a pair of used New Balances…..that were on sale

© 2021

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