There was once upon a time when I wanted to have children. Watch them grow, place money under their pillow. Raise them to become productive citizens. But as time went on I didn’t meet the qualifications. I couldn’t find the right situation. There was no sense in waiting. I decided it wasn’t meant for everybody. And it wasn’t meant for me. With that I’m at peace.
I just missed that boat as I’m older now. That boat doesn’t float above my shoulders now. My body can’t do what it used to. My knees hurt, I can’t move like younger dudes do. Finding the energy to keep up with the kid in me is kind of risky. Physically and mentally I don’t have the synergy or the stamina. So I’ll respectfully decline that promotion to manager.
Management comes with expectations and responsibilities. I just don’t have the motivation to perform those abilities. At this juncture in my life I want stability and peace. Children may be a utility but they could also bring grief. A coin flip that I can’t risk. A coin flip where I don’t get to pick. I can only mitigate so much as other influences will persist.
And the potential trouble from the child’s mother. Not saying I want one of those as I’d rather propose if I fathered a child with a woman. But as you know life doesn’t always compose with what we wanted. This store is closed as I’ve seen too many men ran through the ringer. Having their kids used as pawns wrapped around the woman’s fingers. Puppet masters out here making bastards and fueling the fires of disaster.
In all of its entirety today’s society is really trying me. Entirely too much bs going on as the norm. The influence I previously mentioned is an extension of who the child will become. Crazy laws are coming in between fathers raising their sons. Considering all these measurements the pros weigh less than the cons.
Another thing I see is we are losing our way. Not much arete is hovering in the air nowadays. Where’s the recipe for integrity? The fact that it’s lacking is getting the best of me. This planet is slowly being disbanded. Irreversible could be the damage. Who knows what the earth will be in the year 2070? Enviromental pollution and burning rain forests all for the sake of greed. This is what I see and the outcome doesn’t look pretty. Bringing children into this doesn’t sit good with my spirit.
As you can see my thinking is free. I don’t allow others to decide for me. Societal norms could make the weak feel guilty. Whatever choices you make in life ensure they stem from your point of view. Don’t enable the masses to make the decision for you. I’m staying true to this no matter who believes different.
© 2021
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